Sunday, 19 February 2012

Wish List

Writing in the hope of earning money is supposed to be the cardinal sin, I know that. Even thinking about money between chapters is the sign that you're not really a writer; you're a mercenary scumbag.
You're supposed to write for the sheer, unadulterated love of  the written word!
And I do.
Occasionally though, one or two things that I might buy if I were JK Rowling  flit into my head. Only for a moment - then I mentally push them aside and get back to struggling in my garret.
This is my wish list...

A real silk dressing gown.
(To be pronounced in the tone of the prince in the Princess and the Pea, when he wanted a real princess.)
When I was a teenager I bought a 100% silk dressing gown from a second-hand shop. It was claret coloured paisley silk with black facings (I think they're called facings - collar, cuffs, belt etc.) It was very well-worn - which makes me feel slightly squeamish now. At the back, the seat of the dressing gown had been worn semi-transparent and the sleeves were peppered with cigarette burns (admittedly some of those were probably mine - I was a teenager after all!)
It made me feel slinky, seductive and sophisticated in a way that babydoll nighties from Dorothy Perkins simply didn't. I lounged in it. I was a lounge lizard. I was practically Noel Coward.
Women's silk dressing gowns are not the same at all. They're too shiny and bridal - and only seem to come in shades of oyster or palest pink. How could anyone pretend to be Noel Coward in one of those?

Bertie Wooster - whose every garment is too fabulous for words.

Whatsisname from Downton Abbey. Why do men get all the best dressing gowns?

Tom Ford looking pretty damn pleased with himself. Well, so would I if I had a dressing gown like his!

 Seqinned dresses
I love sequins. But not being Paris Hilton, I never have occasion to wear sequinned dresses. And no, I would not be happy with a seqinned corsage or a pretty cardi with a sequinned hem. I do not yearn for sequins in moderation. If I had pots of money I would buy an entire dress rail of sequinned dresses and skirts. I would have blue ones and mauve ones, white ones and black ones - and lots of other colours in between. I would add one or two touches of chiffon or ostrich feathers for extra beauty, then I would position this clothes rail right by the window so that every time the sun shone in my seqinned dresses would create much the same effect as a multi-coloured mirrorball.

A Treehouse
Officially for my children - but I could sneak in while they're at school!
We have a small plastic house at the end of our garden, but it is dark and dampish and full of snails and spiders. It is far from being the secret den that I hoped it would be. In fact it's an eyesore.
I would like to commission a carpenter to build us a small wooden house with glass windows and a brass knocker on the door. There would be curtains and rugs and comfy cushions. It would have a slide or a fireman's pole or a zip-wire. And the boys could keep their treasured possessions inside it without them going all mouldy and mildewed!

This reminds me of the Berenstain Bears' house!

Children in books - from Horrid Henry to Biff, Chip and Kipper - always have their own den in a  tree house.

Surely this one must be Cath Kidson's own personal tree house!

I wonder if I could persuade a carpenter to also build us the necessary tree...?
 New Glasses
My glasses are pretty much of a non-style because I have to wear them every day. If I could afford to, I would co-ordinate my glasses with my outfits. Somedays I would choose owlish, studenty glasses, other days I would go for shiny silver secretarial specs which I'd wear with a pencil skirt and a pussycat bow. And the same goes for prescription sunglasses - I'd like cool, reflective aviators, retro wayfarers and huge, mysterious Jackie O's.
I went to see one of Pulp's reunion gigs at Brixton Academy in September - and ever since then I've been hankering after a bit more Geek Chic. Fine if it's only a tank top, but Jarvis Cocker glasses are expensive and I might not be in a geeky mood every day from now on!
Especially if I'm already wearing my sequinned skirt and my real silk dressing gown!

Waiting excitedly for the King of the Geeks to appear.

Some Common People...

I was too far away to take this photo. It accompanies a funny interview by Stephen Merchant, in which Jarvis describes the occasion that he danced so wildly on stage that his glasses flew off and landed inside a bass drum. The concert was held up by twelve minutes while the rest of the band helped him to find them. The audience, he says 'pissed themselves'.

No improvement to the word count - half term has well and truly intervened.
I'll get back to it tomorrow xx

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